Strong= Alone?

I was once told by someone that I was too strong, too upfront… too much… for any guy to handle… that if I kept on being this way… I was just going to scare men away from me…

Same person once told me… “Guys want a docile woman…”  And this got me thinking… Could this be true? And if so, does this mean that I will never find a guy that will want to be with me? Will I have to lower my standards and change who I really am to “fit” into this stereotype of what a woman should be like? And, could I actually do this? Do I really care to change who I am to fit into someone else’s idea of the perfect girl?

And here’s what I came up with…

I am a strong woman, I have opinions, I have a brain and like to use it (often), I am driven, I set goals and then work to make them happen, I am also funny and girly, and sure, I enjoy the whole idea of a family and all those other normal desires…

Being strong doesn’t mean I don’t ever break, not at all, like everyone, I break, I fall apart I get up, pick up my pieces and got right back at it… Being strong to me means that I have dreams, goals and things that I want to accomplish, and that I will not take a “No” for an answer and I will keep  working to reach them all, with our without someone in my life… The way I look at it, people come and go, and sure I would like to have a partner to share this with, but if having the partner means I have to give up who I am, change my dreams to be with someone or pretend I’m brainless so this other person can take control of my life…. Well, then the partner is not the right fit and I would rather keep walking, failing and getting back up on my own…

Strong to take an adventure on my own…. Delicate enough to appreciate the beauty…

I do understand relationships are about compromise, and that when you really love someone you would do anything for them, but, you don’t stop being a person because you’re with someone right? In order for things to work, you don’t only need a partner, you need a friend, a lover, someone who will challenge you mentally and physically, who will appreciate and love you for who you are and not try to change you, but instead, help you reach those goals… And most importantly someone who is not afraid of working hard to get there…

I am not the typical little helpless princess who is just waiting for her prince to come and rescue her and live happily ever after… I am the kind of person that if I want something I go for it, I work hard for it and I make it happen myself… I don’t need a man in my life to feel happy, or better about myself… Or to take care of me….

With that said, I don’t want to or can even conceive the idea of being a docile, mute little princess, I want to be wild, I want to be alive… I want to be able to express myself in every way possible, I want to shoot for the moon and beyond, and I want someone in my life who can appreciate that and someone who will help get there… If that means I will be single for a little longer… I am OK with it.

Solo adventure in Venezuela

I was born to be wild, not to be tamed, and the right person at the right time will understand, respect and admire all of these qualities. Until then… I will keep working towards my goals and making my dreams, loving every minute of it and if that scares a few people away from me… well, then I guess they’re not meant to be in my life and I can live with that.

“The questions is not who is going to let me, it’s who’s going to stop me”

Ayan Rand




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