Being emotionally available.. a whole new concept I’m learning… Not that this is a new grand discovery I’ve made… not at all, it’s been around for ages I’m sure… But have you ever tried?
There are times in life that you try… Or you think, may be I need to be more opened… But, when it comes down to it, you take a step back and build another wall around you, it’s a defense mechanism. We don’t want to get hurt, so, we build walls around us that prevent others from getting too close and at the end “hurting us”.
I’ve been in this world for 28 years, and of all those years, I’ve always protected myself, built so many walls around me that made it almost impossible for anyone to get to me, and at the end, I’d still end up getting hurt, because all those walls are hard to maintain, I’ve learned that it’s so much harder to keep them up at all times, and that they hurt even more, than just letting them come down… 
Letting your walls down is not an easy process though, because you think, if I say such and such thing, if I do this or that, if I let that person close to me, I will get hurt, they will know everything about me… If I say I love you, I suddenly become fragile and I am at their mercy, and what if they don’t love me back? Or don’t love me the way I love them?
Well, let me tell you something, there is nothing more empowering and liberating than just letting all those walls down, and finally saying everything that you’ve been holding on so tight for so long… Because, what’s the worst that could happen? Really, think about it for a moment… What’s the worst… They tell you they don’t feel the same for you? And so what? You said it, it’s out there… It can’t control you any more… And you will find an answer and move on…
See, we tend to think that other people should be able to somehow guess what we’re feeling, or why we’re reacting a certain way… But others can’t guess what’s going on in our heads…
So bottom line is, let your walls down, let people in… say what you feel, ask the questions you’ve always wanted to ask, do the things that you always wanted to do… Because we’re only here once… and because no one can read our minds, and no one can feel what we feel or do the things we need to do… Do them, say them, ask what you need, because at the end, you will know what will happen if you don’t do or say what you need… And even if the answer is not what you expected… You said it, and now you’re free to move on from that point…. And it will also help you find peace within yourself.. Knowing that you’ve done and said everything that you wanted to… The results are not in your hands any more… But, you can live in peace knowing you tried, you spoke up, you didn’t keep building more walls around you….
sheisthoughts 